The French Invasion.

There's a French woman who has invaded my friend Patti's life, and in her quest for global domination, has invaded our lives as well. Her name is Sophie. Sophie is a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Which, I reckon, is why Patti has cottoned to her so. Sophie is quiet (because she's still figuring out the English language), smart, and very VERY mischevious. Even though she's unaware of this, I watch her very closely and can always tell when she's about to strike. There's a certain light that comes to her eyes about 3 seconds before she does something. 3 seconds, you see, is long enough for me to register that something is about to happen...and it's short enough that I don't have to warn the victim if I don't want to...which I never do, because I want to watch Sophie at work.

I'm not at all implying that the French are untrustworty, but IF Sophie is around and IF Sophie likes you and feels comfortable around you, WATCH OUT. She's a trickster and an instigator (a quality trait that dominates a certain husband I know, not that I'm naming names).

Exhibit A:

Please note that they are both wet...because Sophie is not above shoving fully clothed people into nearby pools. Repeatedly.

Which then leads to Exhibit B:

Yes, children get involved. Fully clothed. Note the horror, resentment and general hatred of the French on Patti's face. It's brutal.

Then Tom (Patti's husband) wanders onto the scene, "Whasssup? Wait, no. No."

It is immediately evident that Tom has two choices at hand: he can go into the pool, Sophie's way or he can enter the pool voluntarily. Either way, Tom = wet.

And so, Tom chooses Option 2 (with a splash of panache):

Note that the power of the French is such that Sophie was not even in the vicinity of Tom when he committed aquatic hari-kari. She's THAT good.

Meanwhile, Tiffany enjoyed her temporary Cloak of Unfamiliarity, as Sophie had just met her moments prior.

That safety device has long since expired and Tiff is now as vulnerable as the rest of us.

I remained safe, as I had Ahnold (see story below) in my hands and Sophie is #3 (code for "I'm French, not stupid.").

And where was Hicks? He was on a plane coming home from India. Via Paris.

 

Cool new invention - perhaps you've heard of it.

It's call a "camera." Oh sure, you've got a camera on your phone and a camera on your computer and a camera coming out of every gadget you own. But this, THIS is our black, bold, badass new camera. It's so kickin' that I have no choice but to name him "Ahnold." Ahnold is my new friend. Ahnold is simply awesome. Look what he can do. I'll let Ahnold do the talking:

Ah cahn captcha da subtle nuances of da weak flowah.

.

Ah cahn make Hicks look lika he has a wahm, friendly soul.

Ah cahn make da Nels look prehty und less stinky.

Maybe not.

Ah cahn captcha a monkey in a tree.

Und when da monkey needs his fathah.

Ah can see da wee elephant when it is still.

Und when it is spinning arouhnd.

Here is da Scootah giving me da stink-eye.