Nelson's Biscuits
of Wisdumb:

"Kiiissss me. You know you want to."

nellie

Upcoming Events

TIFF’S NIGHT
(formerly Ladies' Night)
Wednesday, Feb. 3 @ 8:00

Photos of the Week

Nature right outside our front window. This little guy hung out there for hours.

Birth of a Beer Fort

If you've driven past our house recently, you've no doubt seen the massive appendage growing on the side. Yes, kids, that's our Beer Fort (worry not about the Beer Garden; it's still there, merely relocated). So here is a brief photocap of the progress made thus far.

footers

Here is the very base. The cylinders will house footers (read: super-strong reinforced concrete) which will ultimately hold up the Fort. The red markings indicate where the fireplace will be. That, or where our sacrificial altar goes. It's still a toss-up.

foundation

And here is the blank canvas that is the foundation. We had a pretty pattern put in, so that when silly drunk people fall down, they'll get a lovely road rash swirly as a souvenir.

yardcarnage

Yard carnage. It kinda looks like a Tyrannasaurus Rex is making a beeline for the Fort. he must be thirsty.

beehive

Fast forward a few days, and we have new snow. And an enormous beehive. This plastic shroud is keeping the mortar of the fireplace infrastructure warm and cozy.

framing

Next comes the framing of the Beer Fort. The fireplace mortar has cured and can now see the sober light of day. You can also see the beam that will be the apex of the Beer Fort. That, or a balance beam for extreme gymnasts.

viewtowardhouse

It's starting to take shape. And no, I never noticed the rivers of rust that flowed down the wall before this photo. I know that I'm unobservant, but dang. Actually, the grill hid that. We never actually use the grill for cooking; we merely wheel it around to disguise such nastiness where needed. No worries, though. That awful stain will get all covered up in due time.

shingles

We have shingles! The good kind (which doesn't make us itchy and miserable).

Jeffonroof

Why, there's our shingler in action. Jeff the Builder (sure, you can sing it like "Bob the Builder") is hangin' out on the roof, because that's what builders do.

fireplace

Here is the outer stonework of the fireplace. The mortar is wet and will dry much lighter. Ain't it purty? It came at a steep cost, though...

crack

...the mason for our fireplace is a master at stonework. Keeping his britches up? Not so much. Bless his heart, he did an amazing job. But for three days I had to look at his drafty place.

framingonhouse

Here is the framing against th house. See? The ugly rust streaks are disappearing already. Building Inspector Nelson is forced to assess the work from his interior station.

So that's where we are on the Beer Fort...so far. It won't be long until we're enjoying a frosty beverage there.

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Best. Pretzels. Ever.

2 1 lb. bags of pretzel sticks
1 bottle of Orville Redenbacher's Butter Popping Oil
1 packet of dry ranch dressing
2T Lemon Pepper (Mrs. Dash...it really DOES makes a difference)

Whisk the non-pretzel ingredients together and then pour them over the pretzels. Mix well.

Let it sit for 10 minutes. Mix well again. Let sit for 5 minutes. Mix. Another 5. Mix.

Then transfer the pretzels into large ziploc bags, and leave the tops open for 2 hours. Then put them into new ziploc bags (leaving the oil behind). Seal the bag and you're good to go!

You can easily do half batches, but I prefer to make a bag for myself and one to give away. Also, the pretzels are best after 2 days. By that time all of the oil is absorbed into the pretzels.

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Where did everything else go? To The Vault.